The Top 100

Oo, a new blog. What to write? Well, I’ve just been having a debate on facebook and I thought “that’d make a good topic to start a blog”. Here goes.

OK. I’ve got a topic for debate. To solve the problem of carbon emissions, instead of all of use recycling, cycling and using energy efficient light bulbs, why don’t we just cull the top 100 carbon emitters in the world each year? This would have 2 effects – an immediate end to their own carbon emissions and also lead to a lot of people all struggling not to be in the top 100 next year.

For example, who has the most polluting garage full of cars? Why our old friend Simon Cowell.

Would he be one of the 100?

Actually they wouldn’t need to be culled. They could just be banned from using electrical devices (unless they filled in lots of forms to prove that all energy used was from renewable sources), banned from owning or using motorised transport, banned from eating or drinking anything imported (especially air freight!), banned from using gas or coal central heating. They’d have a tough year. Maybe they could go WWOOFing for 12 months?

They could be tagged and tracked. If ever their speed goes above cycling speed you could be pretty sure they’re cheating. With a reward for anyone photographing them cheating and a year’s extension if caught. It’d make fantastic reality TV to follow them with a film crew.

And I think it would free vast resources for the majority of us. Instead of sports cars and private jets for bankers and celebs we could have decent public transport for the rest of us.

Why should I be putting in so much effort to cycle around when some twit hops on a helicopter to go to Glastonbury (which is in aid of Greenpeace FFS!). Sorry but if it was the anniversary of my grandmother’s death I’d want a friend nearby, not a helicopter.